


He smells like roses

by ScryProcion



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I am so sorry, Loneliness, M/M, Multi, Regrets, Sadness, Very angst, breaking up, no happy ending, no wait I've put some irony as well, this is pure angst I swear, what the fuck have I written?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScryProcion/pseuds/ScryProcion
Summary: When nightmares wake Luka up, sometimes, the only thing he can do to survive them, is calling his contact back in Europe.It's not as if it will hurt less, anyway.Maybe even more.But he deserves it, in the end.
Relationships: G2 Esports Ensemble/G2 Esports Ensemble, Mihael "Mikyx" Mehle/Luka "PerkZ" Perković
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	He smells like roses

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MissTired](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissTired/gifts).



> Please, mind the tags.
> 
> If you're here for my usual bright and fluffy style, uhm... consider not to continue. Or maybe to stop half way.
> 
> MissTired challenged me with Lukangst. 
> 
> That's the result. (And the proof I can write angst, thank you very much). I cried oceans.
> 
> Once again, I am so sorry. It probably doesn't have any sense too.
> 
> (Thank you, MissTired, for editing me as well!)

_ "Miky..." The Slovenian turns to him, smiling oh so softly that Luka has to close his eyes a little, overwhelmed by the light the support is irradiating.  _

_ "Yes?" A warm, caressing voice.  _

_ Luka's favorite sound in the world, after all. He leans towards the other guy, his nostrils now filled with the scent of support’s skin.  _

_ Miky has always smelled like roses.  _

_ "Kiss me again... And again, and again and... Ah, just don't stop! I love you!" A giggle, a magical music blessing the Croatian's ears.  _

_ "I love you too, Luka!"  _

~

Cold. 

Stretching his arm, a suffocating reminder he is alone in his bed now. 

He doesn’t have his favourite person in the world eager to be entangled with him, limbs so messed up in a soft hug that it’s impossible to know where Luka ends and Mihael begins.

Miky is miles away, and the Croatian’s heart is bleeding. 

The only feeling he can experience is a pain in his chest, as if someone repeatedly stabbed him, again and again, reaching his already abused heart.

The midlaner sighs, rolling under his blanket to find some peace from the overwhelming sorrow.

He knows it’s useless, but he doesn’t want to give up yet.

He tries to control his breath, the aching feeling increased now.

With a desperate cry, Luka grabs his phone, dialing the most called number of the previous two months. 

"Again?" A resigned voice answers after a few rings. 

"Hello! This is The-Best-ADC-EU-Has-Ever-Met, am I talking to A-Close-Third-One?" Luka grins. Bullying his speaker always cheers him a little bit.

"...why do I keep answering you?" 

"Excellent! So: report?" The Croatian shushes the other one. 

"Luka..." A sorrowful tone. That won't do. 

"You promised." The midlaner growls, instantly mad. It's bad enough without the other’s pity anyway. 

"...where do I start?" A sigh. 

"Miss-I-miss-Q!" Luka exclaims, snuggling against his pillow, finally distracted from his stormy torment.

"Well... He managed to be banned from Twitch - that was hilarious, we are still teasing him and Mik- uhm... And Miky laughed a lot!" Luka's heart skips a beat. Miky laughed. That's... 

He closes his eyes, overwhelmed by the feeling of longing. 

A soft fragrance of roses comes back to his mind, increasing his tenderness.

Fortunately, his man continues: "But uhm... He is still a little angry with you for the whole NA-next-year allusion. I know you won't because you think they all hate you, but please, text him?" 

Luka closes his eyes hearing that he managed to hurt what used to be his best friend yet again and ignores the second part: "Tiny-In-The-Mid?" 

Another sigh. "He is... Well, he is ok!" The Croatian can hear the voice of his interlocutor trembling even through the phone call.

"Ok, now the truth." He demands, his heart breaking even more.

"...he bursted into tears yesterday, confessing to me he feels guilty for your departure. He doesn't think he deserved your spot. I managed to calm him down but I think that if you just-"

"Did you confess your big crush on him?" Luka cuts the other off, a lump stuck in his throat. 

_ Why, Capsie? I told you it was my choice... _

"Well..." A nervous giggle makes Luka grin.

"Don't make me send Selfmade over. He has a weak spot for little midlaners..." The Croatian provokes. 

"Don't you dare..." The other growls, angry. 

"You're hilarious. Caps has continued to love you for 4 years, he won't stop now. Move your ass, pussy." Luka shakes his head, in disbelief, "Now: The-Queen-In-The-Toplane?"

“Why do we continue to use these nicknames anyways? You forbid me to talk to anyone about this so it’s not as…”

“And I should’ve forbidden you to blabber useless things too. So, any news from him?” Luka shushes the other once again, sighing.

_ Look at what idiot I have to be informed by... _

"OH! You will never guess it! Yesterday evening, while I was leaving, I heard him speaking Danish! And Caps was with me and he blushed red! Do you realize what it means?!" The man on the line blurts out after a short pause, in which Luka can tell he had to compose himself not to insult the Croatian.

Luka's mind works a little, connecting the dots. "Oh my- BROXAH?" He shouts, amazed.

"I KNOW RIGHT?" They chuckle together, gossiping about the new couple. 

"So... That’s all?" The other’s voice murmurs, concerned.

Luka rubs his face, preventing the pain incoming: "No. Miky?" 

His voice wrecks spelling that name out loud. 

He was never able to assign a stupid nickname to him, anyway.

_ Why does it have to hurt so much?  _

"Oh, Luka... Is it such a bad night?" His man knows that Luka, most of the time, in their weekly and sometimes more-than-weekly chats, doesn’t ask about the support.

The agony is enough already.

Often, his speaker slips some information about the Slovenian, the hopelessly sweet little anecdotes, in his reports. 

Luka is grateful to him for that.

The Croatian doesn't reply, starting to breath less easily. 

"Well... He is... Improving, I guess?" The other’s voice says, after a few painful minutes.

"Truth." The midlaner orders, his voice broken. 

"...he cries everyday. Rasmus or Jankos have to cradle him to sleep. He is afraid of sleeping alone. He can't stand being abandoned another time. Yesterday he slept with me in the hotel, and..." A pause. 

_ Come on, kill me, I am ready.  _

_ Please, if words can kill, let the incoming ones kill me. _

_ But maybe I don’t deserve it. _

_ I don’t deserve this sorrowful agony to stop. _

_ I caused it. _

_ It’s fair I take it on my shoulders... _

"He... Called your name in the sleep. Then he woke up and yelled at you, regretting having loved you so much, begging me to find a way to delete all the memories you’ve shared, cause he doesn’t want them anymore. He is...  _ destroyed _ , Luka." 

Another pause. 

_ What have I done to you?  _

_ I am the one who deserves to be destroyed, not you. _

He can’t help but think about his rose, trampled by the one who loves it most.

But is it love if in the end you give up and leave him?

"But, when we sleep together, all four of us - sometimes Wunder joins too - and it's still awkward I swear but... He can sleep if we're with him. He can even smile. Or laugh. He will be better, Luka." The other finishes, trying to comfort him a little.

_ God, please, make it be true.  _

"Thank you, that's it!" The Croatian barks, beginning to feel on the verge of tears.

"Luka - " 

"Nah, I deserved this. I deserve to know, to suffer his pain. I caused it." Luka sits on the bed, touching the edges of the pillow next to him, flashes of Miky’s smiles at him and memories of their relationship blinding his mind.

_ You’ve always had the brightest smile, beautiful rose. _

_ Thank you for letting me love you for so much time. _

_ I was so lucky to have you. You can let go of me now.  _

_ You can be happier... _

"Ok, but the org kinda pushed you out, you -" His speaker tries again, agitated.

"He begged me, you know? He implored me. He even kneeled down, crying all his desperation and I…” The midlaner catches his breath, speaking becoming more and more difficult, “I prefered leaving him instead of playing off role. I am such an asshole." 

Luka’s voice breaks after having spilled out the confession.

_ In the end, we are owners of our choices. _

_ My beautiful rose... _

"..." His man holds his breath, in disbelief.

"So, yeah, I deserve it." The Croatian concludes, closing his eyes, a few tears staining his cheeks.

"Do you regret leaving?" The other asks the obvious, but Luka knows that it is only because he had told the contrary for so much time that maybe he even managed to convince someone.

"Every single minute a little more." Luka surrenders, stumbling while standing.

Silence. 

"Love him for me too, Rekkles. Just... Don't waste his love. It's precious. The most wholesome treasure. Love him as I couldn't." Luka turns off the call. 

He is barely able to walk, reaching his clothes. 

He finds the G2 world jersey he was searching for, the Mikyx on the back sparkling in the dark painfully. 

He hugs it, the rose fragrance melting his soul. 

He cries into it. 

Regretting the biggest mistake of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone still alive?
> 
> Take care, all of you.
> 
> And love people at your side. They need it <3


End file.
